Hypothetical Police

Tonight would have been a very bad night to be pulled over.

Firstly, I was wearing a dress, heels, and a beret.

Secondly, I'm twenty, and my breath would have smelled like beer.

Thirdly, there were three open bottles of hard liquor in my backseat. (Open as in unsealed. They all had tops on.)

Fourthly, there was a .22 pistol (unloaded) and three clips (loaded) under the driver's seat.

Fifthly, there was a bag of nine grapefruits and a game of Scrabble in the passenger seat.

You know what all this adds up to?

A REALLY great night.

DISCLAIMER: No, I was not engaging in drunk driving. I had had one beer, over about four hours, in addition to a glass of water and a large meal. That's about as far from drunk driving as one can get.

Also, men are starting to hit on me again. It's weird, but very flattering. I think I may be able to stop calling him now. Two days sober. We'll see.