Dear Me, tomorrow:

You're focused too much on how this man makes you feel, in order to escape the tedium of your life alone. He may be afraid of a relationship, but you're afraid of being alone. You become so defensive because you worry it might be true -- that you're just in it or the warm in bed beside you. This silence frightens you because it means you might actually have to evaluate where this is or isn't going... and you're afraid it's going nowhere, and that no-one will ever love you, once they get to know you. Accept this. Figure it out, and move on. Get a life.