I headed over to the theater at quarter to ten to buy my ticket, then probably crash at home for a bit and then go back. Except when I had my ticket I realised there wasn't much for me to do at home, except mope to Arch like I'd been doing for a while. So I call Pink and mope to her and she pretty much told me to move on, forget Finn because he's not worth me anyhow. Yeah, that part's pretty much true. I decide I'll hang out in the nerd line waiting for the doors to open rather than go home, and run into a couple of English majors! One's very funny, charismatic, married with two adorable kids, and the other doesn't go anywhere without a baseball hat, and I don't know much about. Anyway, we get to chatting (and by the way I'm wearing a cami and a leather skirt and heels) to pass the time, and it rains on us a bit and Hardy (baseball hat) offers to trade me places so I don't get too soaked, then we end up running over to the gas station to buy drinks right before the doors open (and I think I lost my credit card there, but I'll find out later today), and on the way back as I'm drinking through a straw and he makes a blowjob joke and I just go with it.
All before sitting next to each other in a movie for two hours. The movie was *amazing*. Hardy explained characters I didn't remember or wasn't familiar with, and laughed at my jokes, and it all went really well. We ended up with our arms touching on the armrest, but not too overtly. Just there. Then afterward he asked if anyone wanted to go to IHOP and although I boycott breakfast food places on principle I kindof wanted to. And it ended up being just us, and he drove, and at the end of the meal he took the check without making a deal out of it, and I couldn't find my card so I kindof made a deal out of it, but I think it went fairly well. We got along fine, and he's nice and a poet (I read a few of his pieces and offered honest criticism, but they were actually decent, so). And between the midnight showing and IHOP afterward (wherein he called me "a cheap date," soo...) I didn't get home until after four. We traded numbers and I'd said I'd show him some poetry so when I got home I opened the computer to go ahead and send that and he sent me a message on FB. So we ended up chatting, and it went a little sideways (in a good way, I think!). I sent him a little more information than I intended, but I guess you can judge for yourself. I'm the indented ones.
o and now I
can't sleep
o haha
§ Ha!
§ And I'm the
one who had coffee.
o ha I had two
dr peppers
o not a whole
lot better
§ I thought you
weren't planning to sleep, anyway?
o haha idk I
love me some sleep that's for sure, but seems a bit pointless now.
§ I'd get max
two and a half hours. Might still try, but I dunno.
o blehh! haha
o shoulda just
spent the night causing trouble around stillwater ha
§ Oh really?
What's that look like?
o huh?
o what does
what look like? haha
§ Causing
trouble around Stillwater.
o haha idk
couldn't tell ya
§ Well, to keep
you occupied for the next five minutes or so.
§ poems.docx
o those were
pretty good
o you have a
lot of potential
o but facebook
chat is hardly the place for me to give a more indepth critique then that
o plus I am not
in the most aware of mind states at the moment
o but it was
not bad by any means
§ Yeah, obvs.
Just wanted to get it sent before I forgot.
o ha well
thanks for sharing
§ Rereading
poems reminds me how many of them were never intended to be read by anyone but
myself.
o hahaha well
you should keep working and showing them
§ Working - of
course. Showing - not so sure. I had a heck of a time finding four that weren't
obviously personal; I'm not a super private person, but I think I'd be
uncomfortable sharing many of the others.
o haha that
just makes me curious!
§ It's nothing
my friends don't know - awful ends of relationships, or beginnings of
relationships, or my dad dying, but in explicit, no-holds-barred words that I
use in my own head but would never use to describe the same situations to
another person.
o I see I see
and undstand, no one gets to see the inside of my notebooks... no one.
§ Because I
believe in rewarding curiosity, though, and it's not about anything recent or
painful, and I'm absolutely shameless sometimes:
§ [Poem very
explicitly about sex.]
§ Annd I'm
embarrassed now.
o haha cause
you told me about losing your virginity?
§ Ha! No, not
at all.
§ I guess it's
not clear; if I'd been a virgin I wouldn't have made the choices that I did in
that particular situation.
o aww I see I
see haha
§ Yeah, sorry.
That wasn't really fair of me, to toss at you.
o haha what do
you mean?
§ It's
different in a workshop class where you're required to read everything for a
grade; on your own time it's not really fair to go into certain themes without
a disclaimer.
o bahahahaha
o well no
worries it didn't bother me or anything
§ I have no
idea what you do or don't want to know, and while it's poetry it's a lot like
reading aloud from my diary, and what if that makes you uncomfortable?
o I am a pretty
easy going guy and am pretty hard to make feel uncomfortable
§ Also, I make
bad decisions when tired.
§ Oh *really*?
§ I shouldn't
take that as a challenge.
o haha try if
you want, but good luck
o please do!
o all you will
do is make me laugh (some with and some at you )
o and I will
get lots of info about you to hold over your head! ;P
o :P*
§ And since I'm
a pretty hard person to offend (actually not true; suggest all Germans are
Nazis and it'll get under my skin like nothing else) or leverage, I'll probably
just succeed at making you laugh.
§ And no wink?
Why no wink?
o well ok ;P
o ha
o so are you
gonna accept my challenge or not?
o haha
§ Of trying to
make you uncomfortable?
§ Well, you're
a twenty-something guy, so I bet nothing related to sex will work, though you
did seem to start a bit at virginity.
§ I could go
into detail about how it felt to watch my father be alive but unaware in the
last days before a phone call told me he was gone, and what knowing I was
nowhere nearby felt like, but that's a bit depressing, innit?
§ By the way,
yes it still bothers me. No it's not something that's going to change, or
something that affects my day-to-day life. I only really think about it in the
wee hours or when I've recently reread poetry I wrote about those moments.
§ So if I'm
*not* trying to bring the conversation down (which I'm really not; I'm a
generally cheerful person), it's got to be something so personal, so
outrageous, that your only response would be to pretend or hope that you hadn't
heard it.
§ Something
wildly inappropriate, perhaps.
o ha what do ya
got for me then?
§ Since you
asked, it was a '95 Toyota Tercel. What sort of car did you lose your virginity
in?
o haha and how
did you know I lost my virginity in a car?
§ Lucky guess,
based on statistics and the general cleanliness/care you take with your current
vehicle.
o hahaha well
thanks
o it was like
an 02 buick regal
o but now you
have opened up a can of worms!
o how old were
you?
§ Ha! Nope, you
first.
o ha I was 15
§ Geez. No
offense, but that must have been awful. 17. Still kindof awful.
§ Google images
says you actually had some room to work with, though.
o hahahaha yes
it was pretty awful
§ Have you ever
*seen* a Toyota Tercel?
o ehh it was a
pretty tight fit
o ok so I had
more room than you
o but she
literally just laid there
§ Oh no!
o so it was a
pretty awful experience
o oh not?
§ 'just laid
there'
§ That's awful!
§ *But* I think
I have it beat.
o ha I read
your exclamtion point as a t hence my confusion
o but yes it
was bad haha
§ And may
actually succeed with discomfort.
§ Girl laying
there? Awful. Guy subverting every stereotyping and taking for frickin' *ever*?
Awful. Guy finally giving up and finishing with a sock? MORE awful.
o hahaha
o so now that
you are older and wiser do you consider yourself "good" at sex?
§ Ha! I would
hope so. That guy certainly got better.
§ Although,
just for clarification. 15, so no license yet, right?
§ Please tell
me it wasn't your parent's car.
o ha my older
brothers
o Oh no! Poor
guy.
o haha na he
was cool about it
§ He knew?!
o he knew what
was happening when he let me take it
o hahaha yeah
§ Okay, so your
older brother is either super cool or realised the back seat would be cramped
and uncomfortable and is secretly a super dick.
o ha na he is
super cool
o but it was
somewhat cramped, not bad, but not near the space I have in my jeep haha
§ Jeez. I can't
imagine any of my family being that cool. Though, on the lines of
'uncomfortable,' my father did offer to "leave the house or a few hours,
go to the library, maybe help you get a hotel room" if we needed.
o what?!?! haha
o that's crazy!
§ Yup!
o my dad has
walked in on me twice haha
§ ><
§ That's
horrible!
o not actually
doing it, but fooling around
o I thought it
was hilarious!
§ That's what
blankets are for! Especially if you know your parents are in the house.
§ As long as
no-one was mortified or scarred, I can see how that would be amusing.
o ha the second
time the girl I was with ran off the bed and pulled all of the bllankets off
the bed!
§ Hahaha!
§ That's the
exact *opposite* of helpful.
o na my dad is
pretty cool
o now if my mom
had caught me that would be a whole other story
o haha indeed
§ So why was it
always one and not the other? Your dad just the guy who opens doors
unannounced?
o Idk just by
chance I guess
o he was the
one who would come get us for dinner or for whatever so ya
§ My dad mostly
just left us alone, and the guy's parents (only slept with one guy before I
left for college, and then it didn't matter) were super conservative
wait-until-marriage types, so I don't think they wanted to know.
§ The closest
I've ever come to being walked in on was accidentally flashing my male roommate
when I tried to sneak across the hallway to my bathroom.
o haha oppsies
§ Oh. Unless
you count cops rolling up to a parked car and turning their spotlights on.
o bahahahahahaha
nice!
§ Three times.
Tulsa cops are crazy.
o ha I guess
o thank god for
being in college and having our own places eh?
§ Very much so.
Don't even have roommates now, and isn't that an enormous perk.
§ You can't put
a value on doing dishes without pants on.
o ha sometimes
I hate having such a vivid imagination
§ Oh really?
§ Do tell.
o haha well
there is not much to tell
o you are just
giving my mind a lot to work with
§ Sorry. Like I
said, I'm kindof shameless. Sometimes I don't consider the less-than-innocuous
meanings behind conversations.
§ Sometimes I
do, and am doing it on purpose.
§ I suppose
we'll have to see.
o hahaha oh
really?
o now that's
just not fair at all
§ Turnabout's
fair game, you know.
§ Unless you
don't want me to have information to hold over your head.
o haha I guess
it depends what I get in exchange
o but I don't
see how this is turnabout
o I still see
this as you being very fickle, on purpose, know full well what you are doing
haha
§ According to
you, your brain is getting full of pseudo-innocuous information that it's
trying to sort through and respond to.
§ Turnabout
would be bringing up specific selected information in an attempt to elicit a
similar resonse.
§ And fickle?
Really? I've been called bitchy, a tease, bitter, cruel, and a myriad of other
adjectives and descriptive phrases. Never fickle, though.
o haha I like
fickle because it does not come with the huge negative conatations
o just because
you are teasing me, doesn't mean it is a negative
§ Oh, I'd hope
not.
§ And I'm still
anticipating your return volley.
o ha well I
asked for all I got, so I suppose you will have to ask to right questions
o I have no
idea where to begin to set out to just start teasing you hahahaha
§ Insisting I
come up with questions is a bit frustrating, I'll admit.
§ Alright, what
sort of themes come up in these notebooks of yours? Are these journals, or
straight poetry?
o ha if the
conversation had the tone that I thought it had then my notebooks are not going
to continue that tone at all.
o well now that
I have completely fucked that up
o my journals
are just full of my ideas for poems or self reflection, they are definitely not
journals, but they contain a lot of where my poetry comes from, nothing majorly
personal just not things I want to share.
§ Jeez, sorry.
I actually fell asleep accidentally.
§ D'oh. Time for up and
toward work!
The only downside, besides that he doesn't give a shit for grammar, is he's only 5'6". Not as much of a deal breaker as I expected, actually. Of my five-step process:
1. Dark hair, not longer than chin length, but not a buzz cut. Glasses.
- Contacts, I think, but he *owns* glasses. The hair's right. 95%
2. At least 6'.
- Obviously not. 0%
3. Not way too skinny, not incredibly overweight.
- Seems average-sized, on the slim side. Works on a ranch so I assume the tossing me around would happen. 100%
4. SMART!
- Seems to be. :) 100%
5. PASSIONATE!
- Obviously. 100%
~6. Into me.
- No idea. But it seems he might be?
Anyway, between he and the other (don't want to use up all my pseudonyms, and I hate remembering them) guy, I've been convinced to enroll in a different section of my fall poetry course. Looking forward to that!
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