I'm drunk (tipsy, really, and tired) and I miss him, or at least his body next to mine, that warmth and the arm holding me, and I shouldn't want him, 'cos that's against the rules. Mutual horniness, that's what the rules are, and that's it. Some sleepovers, sure, and morning sex, and it's all lovely even if I'm a bit late to work and smell like sex, but missing him? This is hell.
I shouldn't want it, shouldn't want anybody at one-thirty in the morning except me, maybe. This feeling of attachment is dumb, and bad, and probably unhealthy. It only really works if I'm not attached -- and I don't know that this is working. Fuck. I just want him to hold me.
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