I can't send this to you, but there's another man. There's a guy who's sweet and funny and just nerdy enough but I feel the space between us and it's fine. And you -- fuck, it's strange and weird to have even six inches, and you want me right there like I want to be. But you don't talk to me except when you drink and I feel alone and unwanted and YOU. What the hell do I do for wanting to be yours, and you don't even want anybody, just to be and maybe I'll be too and maybe. I don't know. I am all confused, all sorts of fucked-up. But despite all the hell I still want it and this is FUCKED-UP. Why can't you just be a little different, or why couldn't he be you? Why is it sour and harsh and acidic and cotton balls and razor blades? Why can't I just have you?
But still I want you.
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