Your Woman

I knew this way at the beginning, and I'm still trying to figure it out -- but I knew this would happen. Your wife will be good, conscientious. She'll like pets and going to church and will hate blowjobs. She'll think anything above the knee is scandalous, and she'll have her degree in something she never cared too much for, but it's a backup career if she turns out to be barren, and you'll cry together and talk about adoption. And you'll have a wonderful life, you really will, and that loose edge where you feel you have to toe the line every single moment will only drag a little, and I hope you find an outlet - porn or alcohol or long vacations by yourself - something where you can be yourself and think of that woman you used to know with whom it WOULDN'T HAVE WORKED, but by God you wish she were around to ask about your sexual fantasies, to say that you're exactly right how you are, and maybe there's something wrong with me. Maybe I'm not exactly perfect the way I am, but I'm not in the business of changing those that I love, so I don't think I'll be pissing off the world anytime soon. One of these days I'll find a man who is head over heels, completely blown away to be with me and he'll probably be bothered when I pop my toes in bed but he'll work to distract me, rather than hold on to me tightly. And I guess there are a lot of things wrong with you but I suppose I'm easy to please, and you're just not so. And one of these days you'll have to make concessions, and it might just kill you. Whoo. Good luck with that.